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have you contemplated your insignificance to the universe lately?
The past few days have been hectic for me. Amidst panicking for chemistry(which i probably failed-_-) ive been thinking who i am. One of the conclusions I have come to is that I live my life as if it were a melodramy, which often stops me from thinking rationally. I think my life is a soap opera, and don't even know it.(mostly regarding hormonal attractions~) I will sit and write and listen to morose music and write melancholy poetry. Just like any other teenager who believes every wrong turn is the end of the universe. And i smell roses every time i see them. And think along the beach at night accompanied by the crashing waves. And am in love with sunsets. I bicker with my parents constantly, just like on a sitcom. I have tv esque problems that every teenager has but cannot solve except by purposely making a pre-warned mistake, regretting it painfully after(of course).
And to top it off, I hate people that do.
For the longest time, Ive believed I stood out from the rest of the world. Its kind of sad if you do not regard yourself in this way. Else-you're a statistic. As in the "Unknown Citizen" by Auden that we read for english.
"Our reserchers in public opinion are content
That he held the Proper Opinion for the time of year;
When there was peace, he was for peace; when there was war, he went.
...Was he free? Was he happy? The question is absurd:
Had anything been wrong, we should certainly have heard."
To be a statistic. A number in the matrix. Even on earth thats sad, but think about it universe wise. The universe is enormous. Huge. INFINITE(depends what theory you believe...) I stand behind the notion that there must be other species out there. Its impossible that there wouldn't be in the infinitely many existing conditions of the universe. So contemplate this. Not just common to your world, but to all the worlds out there that exit. [Granted, any commoner from another planet would still appear quite eccentric - im generally regarding one's perception of the races as a whole]
People like Einstein and Feynnman were truely eccentric. The explorers who took on the vast unknown will be remembered for eions and eions. The truely geniusly talented will also be recalled. Mozart. Maria Callas. The greats.
...So then i re-evaluate myself. Average height. "solidly built." I love the sciences, but am constantly afraid of not being good enoughto love them and be good at them. My theory has always been that people that were good at math and sciences can be good at anything. I'm not good at math. What conclusion may we draw? I'm always nervous about being smart enough and good enough. While Volfovsky and Levitus can spend their time reading or going out and having fun, i get to study and not understand material, and think about them going out, and me being stuck here thinking about it -_-
and yet sometimes I do feel like a free spirit...:: Alina 2:18 AM Comments: Post a Comment
