:: Purposeful Death Overhead ::

I know I'm inarticulate, and sometimes, sometimes (sigh) forgetful.

Took Music/History exam on friday. I was quite tired afterwards, and, after recieving major help from madame Nugent in preperation for the French exam, decided to head over to Starbucks with my collection of Albee plays. I get to Starbucks, am rummaging through my things, and discover an interesting few pieces of paper.

Namely, the second portion of my History exam.

People, I'm waiting for applause.

Anyhoo, I rush back to school, and head to the wonderfully understanding IB office, who help me with my little problem. Did not directly talk to Hines, praise God, though he is the world's most engaging professor. Mrs...._______ <-- I've completely forgotten, but who is quite nice, tells me that had anyone else been in my situation, she would have have believed them. For quite some time, ah, i've remember the elusive name !(Mrs. Rachid) she's been telling me that I might have ADHD, and should probably be taking Ritilin.

I know there is no "magic pill," but who knows?
It's funny, I've tried to talk to my parents about it, and they ignore me.
I told my dad that it was like in fifth grade, when he told me I didn't need glasses, no matter what the school system said. Yep. At that point I had about 20/250 or so vision.

This morning I read up on the illness, and it doesn't seem as though there are too many side effects to Ritilin. Actually, the disease may include both symptoms of hyperactivity and spaciness. I seem to possess both wonders. You know, (and this is my out of order mind speaking), after the conversation with Mrs. Rachid, I asked a few friends what they thought. They said they could see me as having ADHD.

I'm scared of taking medication. I don't know how creative I am, but (and this may sound stupid), I know medication often results in (to borrow Dan's words from Improv on friday) creative bankruptcy.

On another note, I talked to Dan about my inability to articulate. He said it was good I recognized the "problem," and told me I should read aloud to help it go away. It's such a weird feeling; when I talk to adults, my parents, their friends, everyone tells me how wonderful my Russian is, how articulate I am. When I speak to my peers, when I try to engage in conversation, I sound dumb, since I always seem to get off track, and I take way too long explaining things. Here I am, taking too long explaining things.

Wow, I'm just writing and writing today.

(on another subject)

I love figure skating!
I don't know why, it's engaging, it's beautiful.
It's something I've always wanted to experiance.
You know?

The rush, the majesty.

When I aided the RM hockey team for a span of about 3 weeks, every practice I would, instead of watching practices with a group of sophmore idiots, sneak away to watch the figure skating practices. It was amazing - I saw little girls, maybe 8, 1o practicing axels, watching kids in pretty dresses do layback spins. I'm still young, I think, and yet there are so many opportunities i've missed out on. If we had a ton of money, I would try. But we don't.

:: Alina 12:46 AM Comments: Post a Comment