:: Purposeful Death Overhead ::

i have a big head
and my dad still doesn't want to talk speak to me.
and before he complained that i haven't done anything this summer, and still have been to lazy to cook even a damn thing, and so the day before I made a lasagna and nobody even bothered to try it.
and my dad just told me today that I owe him $56 for overusing minutes on the cell phone, when we have 4 lines connected to a 400 minute plan and everyone calls him, and yet because a few friends called me I have to pay the bill.
And our portable home phone broke, so dad took mine, forcing me to use the cell phone if i want any privacy.
and Willa didn't invite me to Emily's surprise birthday party, even though I'm friends with both of them and Emily said she would invite me if she didn't have a party, but she didn't plan the party, Willa did.
and when I came home today dad told me that he hasn't been around to often in the past few days, and yet the living room and kitchen are messy, and I have to clean them up when I did the dishes this morning before I left and have been trying to be clean.
And our basement will never be finished by the end of August, so David won't be able to visit.
And I can't figure out how to do the CSS form, and my mom won't sign the second morgage agreement, so I have no idea how to pay for college, even though im trying.
and I've been eating a lot of chocolate because I'm PMS-y and upset, and unhappy, and all of my friends don't at all seem to care about me, I can't get a guy to even call me back, like this awesome guy Joey that I met at Josh's 18th birthday.
And i just re - read the end of Tale of Two Cities and it make me cry even more.

:: Alina 6:52 PM

the Cutting Edge (65% dark, 43% spontaneous, 16% vulgar)

your humor style: CLEAN SPONTANEOUS DARK Your humor's mostly innocent and off-the-cuff, but somehow there's something slightly menacing about you. Part of your humor is making people a little uncomfortable, even if the things you say aren't in and of themselves confrontational. You probably have a very dry delivery, or are seriously over-the-top. Your type is the most likely to appreciate a good insult and/or broken bone and/or very very fat person dancing. PEOPLE LIKE YOU: David Letterman - John Belushi

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: %20alt="free%20online%20dating"%20src="

:: Alina 10:32 AM

DDR these past few days...so much DDR....

:: Alina 9:24 AM

I finally got my copy of "Important Things That Don't Matter" that I got for like $1.50 on ebay.
And I just finished re-reading it.

The weird thing about is that I love it, and not because it's about Rockville, or by a former IB student. It's familiar, yet totally different, perspective wise. And I get so into it, that I completely forget it's fiction. Maybe once you read it, you'll know what I mean. The title is so appropriate in that it isn't the grandiose aspects of life, but certain events, however unmemorable, that you're bound to remember.

:: Alina 1:02 PM

Okay, so my dad just got pissed at me....again. I know! It's like the 3rd time this week.
It's the whole thing with my grandfather. He needs someone to babysit him, and ergo someone needs to be paid to do it. My dad asked me (about a week ago) to do it....and I said no....there was a whole big shtick with him that if he was going to pay someone to do it, he wanted me to do it. It's my last summer before college... and i finally am hanging out and having fun these days! I don't want to sit all day with my grandfather. So after getting terribly mad at me for saying no, we worked it out, and even though I never actually said yes, I ended up being his sitter. Wonderful. I seriously told my dad that I didn't want his money, and I would do all I could, but I can't do everything. We had agreed, that while my grandfather was asleep I could go out. Since my grandfather sleeps like an hr 1/2, I could drive over to Jill's and play DDR. Besides, I spent all day yesterday with him, and it was truely the most boring and dull day of my life without rest, since every few minutes my grandfather would call me over (which meant running up the stairs) and asking to help him take the bus somewhere or do something he couldn't physically do, that I had to then explain to him he couldn't do. Then the phone would ring and I would run downstairs, only to find the caller having hung up, and hearing my cell phone then go off and running again upstairs to catch that. I mean, i really want to help him, but i don't want to be there 24/7.
Anyhoo, so today we had agreed that I would go over to Jill's after giving my grandfather lunch, returning to check on him, and then at 5:30 heading over to an important meeting at work. I turned out my dad hadn't left by the time I left for Jill's, so i left first. When we came back to my house to check on him, he had falled down...not sideways but at the foot of his bed. How he had managed such a feat? Who knows. Anyway, so (thank you JILL!) we managed to get him back into his bed, when soon after he fell asleep. I called my dad to tell him what had happened, and he seemed to start crying or whatnot, exclaiming that if only I had been there instead of playing my stupid games. Anyway, soon afterward I had to leave for work; I hadn't fed him, but he was asleep, so there was really nothing I could have done. Driving back, I got 3 angry messages from my dad about not being able to reach him, and when I called him back, telling him I was at work, he got totally angry about me going to work. I have to go to work. seriously. We'd discussed it, yet my dad went balistic. Still balistic. He won't talk to me, and yells at me if I even dare be in the living room. I find that unfair. I understand his situation, I'm trying to help, but he can't expect me to quit my job in order to take care of my grandfather. I see taking care of him as a duty, and I do all I can, but when my dad first asked me to do this, I told him to hire someone else. I told him I couldn't sit with him all day.

URG!

oy.... that's quite a rant.

:: Alina 9:16 PM

so i spent the day running between errands and trying to have fun at Jill's house...

our stupid dryer is broken so i had to throw stuff into/and out of a landromat in the middle of nowhere, then drive over to Jill's for a 2 hour session of DDR, back to my house to check on my grandfather (who old....really really old) and can't do much of anything for himself, and then to the mall w/ Jill to pick out a present for Josh.

Oh ya...and somewhere in the middle of this, I got my eyebrows waxed. OW! though not as bad as last time....the sad thing is, its not like a male would notice it...you know? We women spend so much time putting on this eyeliner or eyeshadow or shaving and waxing and god knows what else for a guy that'll look at you once and tell you you look great before leading you into a dark club where they can't really distinguish you apart from the other forty million sweaty people in the crowded area. Oh, and if your > 21 ( of course only those people) go to a club and have drinks, there comes a point where it doesn't really even matter what you wore....you look great through those rose tinted glasses.

A random/ kinda weird moment happened yesterday:

Emily and I were driving to Bethesda to go thrifting, so we're waiting at a light on 355. So this spanish guy in the next car over begins waving to me. Thinking he wants directions, i roll down the window, and look at him quizzically. He asks me, "is your name Alina?" Me: "um...yeah *look at Emily* He then says "I'm Marco, i knew you when you were 3....say hi to your dad for me" Then the light changes, and we speed off..." Later that day, i ask my dad who marco is. Apparently they lived in the apt. across from us when we lived at Yale place near College Gardens. That was where the family lived when we first moved to America from Eastern Europe. ( That of course lasted like 6 months, after which we couldn't put up with the constant fighting.) Anyway, i used to come over to their house and eat ice cream....they were really nice....I was 4 1/2, not 3, but our family hasn't seen them/spoken to them since I was 5. And our neighbor recognizes me 13 and 1/2 years later at a stoplight. That's just weird. I guess people don't change that much, but I was 5! I couldn't recognize someone if they had been five in my last memory....

Does that mean I look 5?
What a small world after all.

:: Alina 10:49 PM

so im still upset I lack facebook, when most of the civilized world has theirs.

also.... how pathetic is it that i regularly check my friend's blogs/xanga's/LJ's for updates?

:: Alina 6:25 PM

arg! where is my goucher email! Where????

:: Alina 7:53 PM

wow, half the summer has simply zoomed past me.

unfortunatly there isn't too much to report.
Working for my cousin as a secretary, still running after the autistic kid....

Blah!

David Taylor is supposedly coming ot visit @ somepoint at the end of this month or beginning of the next. And supposed to be staying w/ us. In the basement that's supposed to be finished. And of course isn't.

Oh ya, currently im typing with a purple finger. You might ask why? You might wonder whether i simply colored on it. No. No, I decided to do some exercize at about 12:30 am a few days ago and ...well...long story short fell off. Yep. Good job Alina. I was kinda too lazy to get it checked out, but I can bend it. So i hope it just heals. And it is getting better. Still I get to go around and show everyone my purple finger. Truthfully I think it's kinda cool ;P

On another, less purple subject, following Goucher orientation i met some really cool people! Yay for cool people at goucher! Okay i sound like I'm three.... anyway, that does excite me! Oh ya, if not mentioned earlier, while signing up for fall classes, i somehow realized that I'm going premed. Can anyone see me as a doctor? I'm excited for all the opera opportunity in such a small community. The only thing is that I have done no singing this summer. I haven't really done any musical stuff at all! I have been trying to self teach myself guitar, but with a certain purple friend, i can't really practice.

wow, now that i've begun writing i have so much to talk about!

Switching to yet another subject: I passed IB. YAY!
you know, i know it's not that big of a deal, but im happy. Part of me was worried....

:: Alina 9:57 PM