:: Purposeful Death Overhead ::

February 20th, 2006

You can't help who you love.
You're not supposed to.


*sigh* i need good chocolate and a hug.

:: Alina 10:17 PM

February 14, 2006

Last night i didn't want to be alone with a sleeping roomate, so i packed math hw and sauntered over to Ethan and Stefan's. We hung out till 3 am eating cheddar and listening to music. I couldn't stop smiling as I walked home and when I fell asleep last night, I was at peace.
And then I remembered St. Valentine's had set forth his day, and pink and purple weather was in the bitter morning air.

Us lonely people bitch about the commercialized holiday, but people, just be happy as I am today. I am among friends, loved perhaps not in a freudian way, but neverthless, loved.

Just be happy for a holiday not dedicated to slaughtering innocents.

Just be happy.

:: Alina 6:13 PM

February 13, 2006

And when the hourglass has run out, the hourglass of temporality,
when the noise of secular life has grown silent and its restless or
ineffectual activism has come to an end, when everything around you
is still, as it is in eternity, then eternity asks you and every
individual in these millions and millions about only one thing:
whether you have lived in despair or not.
-- Soren Kierkegaard,
"The Sickness Unto Death"

:: Alina 9:32 PM

February 6th, 2006

good night folks, good night indeed...

Ethan and I are outlining possible plans for spring break. Possibly mexico or florida?

:: Alina 3:27 AM

February 2nd, 2006

he spends his days
behind the counter
of the run down public library
Scanning books
and putting tabs on files

he doesen't Read
He scans.
He works.
He eats.
And then he rests.

he sleeps - --> he wakes
he dreams

He is awake, and
the sun has just peeked
Over the dim horizon

he dresses hurridly.

There is no reason
for the rush,
the library opens at ----> How?
10 am
but he has miles
to go before he sleeps
again - he knows.

How do I know I know?
he asks.
7th grade English
Ms. Roberts.
She was hot.
A frosty image assembles
in his mind.

he stops.
The wet
grass has penetrated
his soles and his feet
Soak in morning.

Look up.
A playground.
New gravel pieces
Bright colors

"This wasn't here before"

...the slides were metal and
the woodchips,
And it was never
Empty
but filled with
shrieks of laughter
on bright September
Afternoons

:: Alina 12:05 AM

February 2nd, 2006

back at school and overjoyed!

am greatly excited about this semester, though I'm taking credits up the wazoo. And Serefina was nice enough to change my part in The Window Seat (mind you, one I'd been practicing for 6 weeks) without telling me. "oh, btw, the slave girl part (yes, I was supposed to be a slave girl" has now been rewritten for a man" and then she tells me, to learn the part of the missus, and just in case Rachel can't handle it to learn another part of Kendell's opera. Also, she gave me a lead in The Merry Widow. So....more music to learn! At least there's the consilation of the music being easy this semester...BAH!

Currently Reading: A Means to an End: The Biological Basis of Aging and Death by William R. Clark [which is on indefinate loan from my guidance councilor...hehe!]

:: Alina 9:54 AM